Dark stretch of the journey

Man, was I feeling so good about this thing a couple of days ago. So good. Couple days ago. Things have taken a turn (as many of you have heard, however I will reit(e/i)rate). Friday night, I shamed myself. I'm still in the contest, but I've lost all pride as a human being, for a number of reasons:

1. I hooked up with an old high school acquaintance and good friend (that's one person, not two). Often times this would be seen as fortuidous. Without getting into detail however, know that it was shameful.

2. This girl had broken up with her boyfriend of 2 years a day prior. Shame, shame, shame.

3. I did manage to avoid some shame by only marginally staying in the contest through the (I believe the technical term is) "dry humping." A small moral victory, however I was tip-toeing the line of ultimate shame. I guess I would have at least found solace in getting off with my clothes on, but the fact that I wanted so badly not to would have left a sour taste in my mouth.

4. She softly whispered for me to lay on my back as she started with the 'ol "kissing her south," exciting me with the thought that in may have in fact ended up being her with the sour taste in her mouth. Then (still mounted, her lips having reached about halfway between the nips and the navel) we (not consensually) took a brief (indefinite) hiatus to "talk" (I believe the technical term is "blue ball" me). Shame, writ large.

I'm sure we've all experienced unfulfilled promises of sexual fruition, and though I deeply wish better for all reading, it's likely some have even gotten this close and still been thwarted. I also know that two of you have gone exactly as long as I had at this time without emission. However, I KNOW nobody has experienced all of these things at once. The next morning (all kidding aside) I was completely unable to stand upright. Two hours later, attempting to piss in a urinal, the bulge of my scrotum dwarfed my once proud member. I actually had to hold my nuts down with one hand, tenderly pinching the part of my penis that I could still find in attempts to aim. Then, in the third hour (of the next morning, mind you, 9 hours after the incident) I felt the need to blow my nose. Horrible idea. Upon applying pressure (in my sinuses, 2 and a half feet north of ground zero), I experienced what felt like actually blowing my prostate out of my own asshole. And I didn't even actually blow, the pain was so immense I had to stop and instead drink my mucus as it dripped down my lip.

Now, it may just be the toll of more than two weeks in the contest, but (coincidentally?) since Friday night, I haven't been able to wear undergarments because my nuts have been so sore. I truelly feel that it would be healthier for me to masturbate. Of course now i've lost either way, as any ejaculation is sure to burn and bleed. It's no longer something to look forward to, but something I have to fight in order to save myself agony. I am actually afraid to masturbate. So, I guess that's bad news for Jeff, because I have lost all desire, but know that I am the real loser regardless. At least you don't have to wake up every morning, feel around, and hope (without any sort of confidence) that your balls haven't popped overnight.