Still recovering

I'm not sure why but today has been a particular struggle. And the rest of the world is against me. Sitting at my desk in the newsroom of the Hillsdale Daily News, I can actually feel my sperm accumulating in the taintal area of my parts.

I decided to go to the gym to try and exercise off some of my extra energy. Low and behold I get the basket ball wedged between the backboard and the hoop and the whole Hillsdale College women's basketball team decides to help me get it out.

I throw one of their volley balls at the thing and dislodge it, but that's not before the team decides to prance around me in very tight spandex practice shorts, one in a two piece sports-type bra as they jump up and down trying to reach the ball with their hands.

I wanted to start handing out purple mushrooms, but...well...I didn't. I want this contest to die.