WWJD

It's never going to be a good time...

Not for these fucking contests, anyway.

Pre-Thoughts

- I am the only one with a roommate who is also in this contest. That’s just weird.
- I wonder about the consequences of acquaintances reading this.
- This isn’t a contest so much as a way to find out who is the biggest sexual deviant.

All that being said – I’m in it to win it. I know Mr. Kondilas mentioned KY...I recommend it as well, especially if you like getting your pee-pee rubbed raw. Using KY for something of this magnitude is like telling a third-degree burn victim to, “run it under some cold water.” I call NOT IT on taking any of you guys to the ER.

Mr. Marsey – you are a threat. I recognize this. However, you don’t have Internet right now, bonus for me. You also are adjusting to moving back, which I pray has a negative effect on your libido.

Evan, have you even started? If you are pool-sharking this thing, I tip my hat to you, but I doubt you are. Are you wondering yet about how I am getting you back? Worried it might come into play now? Sleep with one eye open and your third eye closed. Wouldn't want to get swizzle-sticked.

Justin, unless you masturbate in your sleep, I can’t see how you will be a factor in this contest. I apologize in advance for any awkwardness during this next week, but it has to be this way. Please notify me of any guests coming over at least 30 min in advance.

Derek? In it?

CURRENT STANDING
Since 7:30 this morning, I stand at two. Not impressive in and of itself, but I’m at work. My co-workers are all obese women who do nothing but drink excessive amounts of lo-carb shakes and talk about playing lotto. Not exactly a pleasure palace.

The bathroom at work is usually vacant, but it’s really cold and there isn’t a proper back to the toilets, all of which is inhibiting.

Stay soft,
TW