Jesus save me...

I want to say, here and now, that I have really tried. My lacklustre performance in this contest has nothing to do with a lack of effort or an untrained muscle, and everything to do with the current insanity of my schedule.

I am tired, people. Tom White said it best, and I am in complete agreement with him. If I had time to engage in the act encouraged by this contest, I would be sleeping. Unfortunately, however, I do not even have time for that lately. Every day when I get home from work, I attempt to envision satin sheets and supine celebrities, but all I am left with is a flaccid reminder of the long day I've had.

In short, I ask you not to lose respect for me, friends. I am a man with no time, and I am more apt to blow it while sleeping than I am to do so as a result of real effort.

Side Note: Halloween costume? I'm thinking Sydney Poitier.